Order Barbatachtian 5: Alive now.
The fifth entry in the Barbatachtian saga sees a darkness spread through the ZerumVerse, one that not even the Council of Gods can obtain, as Barbatachtian puts a master plan into action.
(NB: This provides you access to a digital copy only.)
Using my Odeon membership, I got to see Plane early. It’s the new Gerard Butler film, and let me tell you it’s surely a Gerard Butler film. The runtime is 1.47hrs, it moves lightning quick, you get character development on the run and they cut to the case very quickly regarding plot beats.
I really enjoyed it. It’s loud, dumb, and yet kinetically violent at points. We’re dealing with simple material here, simple material executed well. If you like his brand of B-Movies, go see it.
And while you’re here, check out the link below on how to purchase my films online.
It’s ten days into 2023, and it’s either the best of times or worst of times depending on where you fall in the worldwide spectrum of stuff/thangs. I’m in the centre it seems, so mainly I’m just keeping my head down and trying to improve my lot in life rather than anything else. I do this using the logic that if I make more stuff, someone somewhere will watch it at some point and it’ll improve their day.
Anyway, in a move away from complex stuff I am not qualified to speak about…
Today is the last day of the sale. You can find the films on the store page:
I have finished my first script of 2023. Oh My God It’s Christmas is drafted and it is… unfilmable. I mean maybe I’m wrong there, but between the budget and the tone and the offensive jokes and the levels of visceral (blood, vomit etc) that’d be fully depicted on screen, it’s probably not going to be made without a rewrite. But hey, if anyone wants to buy it and pay me lots of money to make it into a PG flick, I’m game.
I’m also working on a new version of Barbatachtian. I love the three I’ve made, but I really want to get the films on more platforms and reverse-engineering the originals to do that is proving tricky. So a new film condensing the events into one film that’s in 4K with subtitles seems the smart approach.
Welcome to the 2023 sale, where the films are all available for heavily reduced prices from today (3rd January) until next Tuesday (10th January.) It’s an opportunity and a half, and one every horror fan should take advantage of.
In other news, I’m 40 pages into the next script. Which I started on January 1st. Weird. But also cool. I’m trying to write more this year, as selling a screenplay or two is the best way to continually push this filmmaking thing and get bigger budgets, more actors, sets etc.
I’m also trying to get the films on more platforms. That’s a tad harder to achieve, but I’m plugging away anyway.
The 5th of September holds no particular value or meaning to me whatsoever, but I figure it’s time for another super sale where the films are at such a cheap price that I can’t possibly hope to make any money off them.
The individual films are 99P each. The combined films are £2.50.
I watched the first two episodes of LOTR: ROP. It’s the big show at the moment and everyone has an opinion on it, ranging from outright racist (why is my fantasy show about dragon so diverse) through to ‘LOOK AT THE PRODUCTION VALUES LOL LET ME TURN ON MOTION SMOOTHING TO MAKE GIFS MOCKING THEM.)
Where do I fall?
I thought it was really, really bad. And boring. And I don’t think I’m the audience for it, because while I can admire the acting and the production values I think everything else is so staggeringly misguided and missing the point of the stories that it actually makes me a little bit sad and annoyed.
I completely understand a lot of people put a lot of work into this show, but it really does feel like a cynical cash grab by Amazon, their attempt to capture the magic of GOT while also – amusingly – not understand what made GOT so fascinating.
And it makes me sad because I love LOTR.
Those Jackson films are staggering accomplishments in blockbuster filmmaking, and I find it weird the Tolkien estate hates them but somehow approves this, which lacks the heart of said films and makes even more concessions with the material and characters to make everything feel as unlike LOTR as they possibly can do.
Or maybe it is accurate to the books, I don’t know.
There’ll be no spoilers because this is definitely a show where you need to know nothing going in, because it’s so weird and abstract that even when you watch and stuff is happening your brain is trying to adjust to it, and that’s a feeling that really only occurs when you’re as dazed and confused as the core characters we’re following.
In some stories it’s good to know more than the characters do, as it can create tension. In Severance they occupy the opposite end of the spectrum, making us – the audience – feel lost, allowing us to share the tension and slightly off nature of the aesthetic at play.
It’s a masterpiece, in other words.
A dizzying, brutal, acerbic takedown of the concept of working in an office doing a job which doesn’t make any damn sense and is the same shit everyday; a soul-sucking nightmare that you have to detach yourself from as much as possible in order to go in every day and do.
And it is well-worth getting Apple TV for.
For my money, the only mainstream subscription services worth getting are Apple TV and Disney Plus. Disney Plus is more for nostalgia, popcorn fair. Apple TV is just fucking weird as fuck, dudes; and I love it. They’re aiming for gourmet shit, and though they don’t hit it every time it’s clear that if the idea is weird enough, they’ll leave people alone to make it. Severance is a show that, despite an amazing cast, literally would be cancelled by Netflix before people had even got to episode 3, but has genuine worth and will, I believe, break out into a fucking cult classic, if not pierce the mainstream.
So yeah, go watch it. THIS is some good-ass TV.
Also, while you’re here, my films are on sale on the official store: