Year end review (31-12-22)

Hey there cool cats and/or kittens.

2022 is almost at an end, so it seems fitting for me to do wrap up of sorts for a year which has certainly been a year, both for good and for bad.

Firstly, I know that this website needs updating. It’s in the works.

Secondly, it’s been a proper grand year royalty wise. Thanks for Indie Nation Network and New Village Video, the films are still making change. Not anything I can live on, but it’s still awesome that people watch and pay for this dreck.

Thirdly, I came close to selling a script this year. I will sell one next year. That is my resolution. I know some people will scoff, but I willed myself to make a bunch of films and I did that so I’m going to sell a script damnit.

Fourthly, there’ll be a new book on Amazon at some point. It’ll be a book about my experiences making these films. I’ll keep y’all posted.

Finally, next year will see lots of new projects. There’ll be Barbatachtian: 1985, there’ll be a Christmas film (those make good bank at Christmas time), and I’ll be aiming to make a bigger film. Not sure which one yet, but I’ll be pushing for it.

For now, enjoy the New Year

See y’all on the other side.

Oh, and buy some shit on the store.


Stuff, Thangs (12-9-22)

Hola amigos.

Ian Austin here, writer and director of those Barbatachtian films and, going by recent trends in my life, resident at an Odeon cinema for most of the week seeing whatever films that they deem fit to put up.

I’ll be doing mini-reviews of some of those below, as well as discussing the current state of the (to some) Barbatachtian Films catalogue.

So without further ado:

Scream Unseen

This particular entry of the Odeon Scream Unseen line-up was called Hatchling, and is a very weird and nightmarish Finnish horror film. I’d recommend going in knowing nothing about it for full value of watch, but would also suggest you avoid it if you don’t care for ‘foreign language’ films. Personally, I’d have enjoyed it even more without subtitles – as the film is quite heavy on allegory as it is.

Jaws 3D

I’ve never seen Jaws in a cinema, and after seeing it in 3D I’d argue I still haven’t. Films post-converted to 3D always struggle for me, as they don’t take into account the – for lack of a better word – chilled visual aesthetic the 3D glasses provide. Jaws was lit very intentionally, and adding a colder glaze to the images doesn’t really work at all. And while the film is undeniably great, it is not a great 3D film. Which is a shame – the last act in particular really drags when you don’t have the proper visual colour palette in play.

Bodies Bodies Bodies

An excellent horror film, surprisingly so – although is it surprising? A24 is becoming one of the better avenues for horror films, seemingly letting the creatives do whatever they want and, at the very least, the films are interesting. This film rises above merely being interesting, improving exponentially on the appallingly bad trailers and revealing a clever, subversive streak, a modern day murder mystery of sorts that builds to a genuinely clever ending.

I have one flaw with the film, but it resolves around one moment of pay-off. And it’s not even the pay-off per se… more a way it could have been better executed. But that’s a minor quibble, this is highly recommended.

And now onto the upcoming catalogue of my own stuff…

Barbatachtian: 1985 has stalled because I lost my notebook I was writing the script in, wrote another script, and then found it again but haven’t the ideas to continue it currently. But I’ll get to it soon enough I reckon.

The other script though… I really want to direct that film.

Only snag is the cost of it. I’m racking my brain with how I can shoot it, and have one very crazy idea which could theoretically work. I’ll keep ya’ll posted.

Until then, you can buy the already released films on the store.

Writing Update for B:1985. (13-8-22)


Long few weeks at work so haven’t written that much.


Barbatachtian: 1985 has a scene in the script called the Lizard Man scene. It very well might not make it into the actual film, but man…

It’s a messed up scene.

And I loved writing it. Mostly because I really love disgusting horror, like full on ‘dude, what?’ extreme gore and bodily fluid stuff. It just amuses me. And I want to embrace the seedier, more Grindhouse style for this film.

Also Barbatachtian is available on another streaming service. Check it out here

Captain Marvel (31-7-22)

It’s very early here.

Starting the day with coffee and a rewatch of Captain Marvel.

Ya know, Marvel really is the master of creating films which are pretty good on first watch, but work even better when viewed later on in a larger context.

I’d hope my Barbatachtian films would do the same, but they are riddled with continuity errors…

In a Barbatachtian: 1985 update, I’m 30 pages into the first draft.

It’s definitely fuelled by my Grindhouse leanings, and is a bit of a departure from the other ones, as I’m… well, writing a script this time instead of a very loose outline. It also will cost a fair bit, unless I creatively shoot certain sequences.

Well, more updates to come tomorrow.